Undignified Escapades
by siodo-il-vero
Summary: I'm not too good with summaries but, hey. Sokka and Zuko embark on an adventure to catch up to Toph. Along the way they encounter meat, honor, sarcasm, oh my! Zukka  main  and Taang. Also a little Tokka. First fanfic :D
1. That's Not Technically Illegal

er. okay. so i never used ffnet before. read fics, yes. written an avatar fic? no. **background information**. well... i haven't explicitly stated this, but this is post-war, but Iroh is fire lord instead of Zuko, and the Gaang is just living together, travelling around until... DUN DUN DUNNNN zukka (my otp 3), some tokka and taang

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><p><strong>Undignified Escapades: Chapter 1<strong>

Zuko walked into Toph's room, looking around. It was weird not to have any of her stuff there anymore (even though she had been "kind" enough to leave her rock garden there). Her absence filled the room and Zuko found himself missing the surly little addition to the Gaang already. He turned to leave when he saw a grappling hook on the window. Zuko readied himself into a fire bending stance. Who the hell would break into the earthbender's room only hours after she left? He gingerly made his way over to the hook, and was surprised to hear a familiar cry.

"_Sokka_?" Zuko thought, rushing to the window.

"TOPH!" Sokka cried. "TOPH DON'T DO IT! DON'T MARRY HM!" His words were slurred together. Zuko fidgeted where he stood. If there was ever a list of things he didn't need to witness, this was topping it at the moment. "WAIT FOR ME- WAAAAAAIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTT!"

Zuko face-palmed himself. Sokka was _way_ too melodramatic sometimes. He turned on his heel to leave. Whatever that idiot did on his own time wasn't his problem.

"I'M FALLING!" the voice continued. "I'M GONNA DIE HERE!" Zuko snapped.

"We're on the first floor, dumbass!" Zuko called down the rope. Sokka looked up and met his eyes. They blinked at each other.

"Whurrstoph," Sokka slurred. His eyes looked unfocused. Zuko lifted the grapple hook and tossed it out the window. He heard the thump as Sokka hit the ground. Zuko looked down the window as a precaution to make sure that the younger boy wasn't dead. He wasn't. Unfortunately.

"GODDAMMIT ZUKO!" the boy called up angrily, seeing Zuko's head out the window. He seemed to have sobered up. "What are you doing? Why are you in Toph's room? Where's Toph?" Apparently not sober enough.

"She left three hours ago, Sokka!" Zuko shouted down, thankful that Katara was out. "You were there! You watched her leave!"

"Where did she go?"

Zuko shook his head and left the room. Sokka was far too gone to listen to reason at this point. Zuko had no clue that Sokka even had feelings for Toph. He had blessed the marriage whole-heartedly. He walked out the door to where Sokka was still sitting on the ground. The fool was still dressed in his suit from the wedding. Was he really this much of an idiot?

Zuko knelt down before him, and talked softly and slowly. Maybe this way the boy would get it.

"Toph's gone. She left already. You were there, remember?" Zuko awkwardly hit the boy a couple of times on the back. He had intended to stroke the younger boy's back the way his mother had stroked his when he was upset, but it came out in slaps.

"I know," Sokka said in a small voice.

Zuko stopped immediately and shoved Sokka over.

"What was that for?" the boy called, picking himself up.

Zuko flushed. Had Sokka been fooling him this entire time? Zuko cursed himself for trying to make Sokka feel better.

"You're such an idiot!" Zuko yelled at him. "If you knew she was gone, why are you out here?"

"I dunno," Sokka muttered, ruffling his hair. "I thought it was all some kind of bad dream or something?"

Zuko was silent. "You're an idiot."

"I know." Sokka exhaled. "I just can't believe that she's really gone." He leaned against Zuko. The older boy fidgeted. Was it normal for two guys to lean on each other? What the fuck did Sokka even drink? Actually- when did the boy even get out of the house? Even Zuko had been swept up in the wedding. Was this idiot ever going to get off his shoulder?

"Zuko?" The older boy jumped to.

"Y-Yeah?" Fuck. How was he supposed to look at Sokka when they were leaning on each other? Should he crane his neck? "Ah fuck it, just keep facing forward." Zuko told himself, keeping himself ramrod straight.

"Should I go after her?"

Zuko choked on his spit. Was this fool really suggesting- wait- wasn't it illegal to chase after someone else's wife? He thought for a second. Nope, not illegal, just stupid and bound to end horribly. He pulled himself away from Sokka to give him a no-that's-not-technically-illegal-just-really-stupid-and-bound-to-end-horribly look. Sokka furrowed his eyebrows.

"So... Is that a yes?"

The urge to punch Sokka in the face was rising.


	2. I'm Blind, Bastard

Flashback tiem! Well yeah, I thought that I'd clarify things a bit with a Sokka POV. also, pissed off zuko always makes me happy :D

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><p><strong>Undignified Escapades: Chapter 2<strong>

It had been a while since the war had ended and the Gaang had been doing a lot of nothing. Of course, Aang wanted to jump up and go around saving people as he always did, but Sokka wanted to just sit back and relax. Unfortunately, no one really cared what Sokka wanted (as usual). They spent their time travelling around, doing avatar-esque good deeds around the four nations. Sokka enjoyed spending time in the fire nation the most (apart from home sweet home among the icicles). There was something so funny about seeing Zuko so stressed out and then trolling him- Sokka and Toph had practically made a sport out of it. They sent him fake letters from his uncle, crushed flower seeds and disguised it as a packet of tea, and even sent him a fake military report saying that badger-moles were attacking and taking over Ba Sing Se. Sokka remembered that time the best best. Him and Toph crouched behind the sofa, snickering, while Zuko screamed at the messenger

"THEY'RE BLIND, GODDAMMIT! HOW THE FUCK CAN THEY EVEN FIND...SOKKA GET THE FUCK OUT HERE. I KNOW YOU DID THIS!"

After the lecture (Sokka-Toph-it's-not-funny-this-is-really-serious-what-if-badger-moles-actually-got-through-the-wall-LISTEN-TO-ME-GODDAMMIT), they had spent the rest of the night recounting the adventure and laughing over Zuko's reactions. Toph could really do a good Zuko impersonation when she wanted to.

He had scarcely noticed when Aang began intruding into their group at first. However, the Avatar's presence wasn't something Sokka could really ignore. ("Instead of putting itching powder in his hair brush, why don't we all go plant daisies in the back yard?" *cue shining face full of expectation*) Sokka thought Aang was just being a third wheel- no one could really beat the Sokka-Toph Prankster/Gambling Alliance (STPGA) that was already established. But Toph actually seemed to like spending time with Mr. We-have-to-help-everyone-and-everything.

"He treats me like a girl," Toph remarked to him once.

"Yeah, doesn't it stink?" Sokka asked her. She kicked him in the groin.

Sokka didn't understand. Why did she like the flowers he plucked from the garden that he made (what kind of self-respecting man even made a flower garden in the first place?) as opposed to the drawing he made of her face ("I'M BLIND, BASTARD"). Okay, so maybe Sokka wasn't the most sensitive person in the world. He would admit to that. But Toph and Aang? It just wouldn't work. It shouldn't have worked. But it seemed to be doing just that. And it really stunk to be the third wheel in the Toph-Aang Saving the Environment/World Committee (not even cool enough for an acronym).

But he really didn't expect her to _marry_ him. He just figured that she would come around some time. He didn't express if often enough, but losing Yue and Suki really hurt him. He thought that he fell in love too quickly and always got hurt (which was holding true so far), so he didn't tell her. And then she accepted Aang's proposal. Everyone was bustling with excitement (Katara almost cried from excitement when they got the news), and Sokka didn't want to be the downer.

"Hey meathead," she called to him on the day of the wedding and beckoned him into the room where she was getting ready. She ushered the protesting Katara out of the room and looked at Sokka. She looked beautiful. Katara had done some strange thing with her hair to make it long and straight and cascading down her back. Her hair was adorned with pink and whitish green flowers. A long white gown and lace veil that made even her muscular physique look fragile.

"Do I look nice?" she asked Sokka. "I don't trust Katara to tell me the truth, and Zuko, well. You know Zuko.." Sokka looked her up and down. He had a chance to tell her the truth but...

"You look.. really nice." She punched him in the stomach.

"Ugh you Water Tribe Siblings," she threw her hands in the air. "I can't count on either of you to tell me the truth. Get Zuko for me."

And just like that, she was gone.


End file.
